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Bro… A night out with superheroes

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By Jordan Moser

Nov. 18, 2015

 

Invisible Woman (Fantastic Four)

Susan is a sophomore sorority girl majoring in Public Relations. In her first two years of college, Susan made friends quickly due to her contagiously inviting personality and attractive physical appearance.  Making these connections has made college an enjoyable experience for her so far. She often goes out to the bars with her sorority sisters using her fake ID.  On a Thursday night, Susan and her sorority sisters can typically be found on the dance floor in a circle drinking fruity vodka mixers and dancing with each other.  While these fun nights out with the girls seem ideal, it is an undeniable regularity that drunken guys try to dance with Susan when she is clearly not interested.  She is polite to these guys, however, she has a go-to system that she utilizes frequently. Susan talks with the guy for a while occasionally exchanging phone numbers, smiles, tells him she is going to the bathroom, then is never seen again for the rest of the night. In the mornings when the numerous guys find her name in their phones, they send texts but they are never returned.

Captain America

As a tobacco spitting, bandana wearing, beer drinking freshman, nobody loves his country quite like Steve.  Always decked out in his honorary red, white, and blue, Steve often attends house parties, but is never actually invited.  Being undeclared and taking mostly general education and art classes, he typically puts off his studying and procrastinates by going home to fish on the weekends or hitting up the Frisbee golf courses with his buddies.  In his drunken tirades, a common topic of discussion is his dislike for school and his ambition to drop out and join the Army.  At this point in his life, Steve does not really have a set agenda and he is perfectly okay with that.

The Flash

Wally has been a perennial all-state college track star since he was a freshman three years ago. Setting school records in the 100m, 200m, and 400m sprints as a freshman, hopes are high that he can lead the university men’s track team to yet another conference championship. Though he is a busy upperclassmen majoring in Health and Human Performance, Wally always seems to make time for at least one night of partying per week. It does not appear that he puts in a lot of work whether it be in the classroom or the weight room as both school and athletics seem to come very naturally to him.  It is a true modern mystery as to how Wally can pound shot after shot one night, then be awake and feel well enough to set school sprinting records at a track meet the following day.

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Bro… A night out with superheroes