Since the semester started, my roommate has been constantly having people visiting and sleeping over. How do I tell her I’m not comfortable without starting an argument?

Like any relationship, the key to all complications is communication. Even if it is difficult to tell your roommate that what they are doing makes you uncomfortable, you have to try. By saying nothing they might think that you are fine with their behavior.

The best way to solve the problem is to talk with your roommate face-to-face. If you are anxious about the situation, it might not be a bad idea to write down some points you want to make and use that in your conversation.

Be straightforward with your roommate and say why having people over so often bugs you. They need to see where you are coming from and they can only see that if you are honest.

Whether you are in the dorms or an apartment, if you are sharing a room with someone it is a good idea to make a list of expectations. It may sound childish, but it can really help to keep the relationships in the room happier and more positive.

Talk to your roommate about when it is fine for them to have people over. If you have a certain time you set aside for studying, tell them that. If your roommate still wants to hang out with friends, they can find other places to go. It could also help if you both asked each other before you have people over.

As far as sleepovers go, if it’s someone of the opposite sex, then tell your roommate that they can have sleepovers when you are gone for the night or on weekends. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in your own home.

If matters aren’t resolved after you have talked with your roommate, then it’s time to bring someone of authority into the equation. Talk to your RA or apartment complex director and they can try to help you smooth things over.

It is important for all roommates to be respectful and courteous to the others in that living situation. Sharing a room, or even a general living space, with someone is never easy. The key is to be open to compromising and making the situation comfortable for everyone involved.

If you communicate with your roommate and be considerate with each other, then everything else should fall into place. Good luck!

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