May 7, 2014

Commentary by Michael Riley

I quit.

Oh really, Mr. Professor. Do the last homework assignment, you say?

Nope.

Yes, please Mr. Manager, ask me again if I want to cover another shift on my day off? Nope.

Don’t let me interrupt, Mr. Student Org President.  Would I like to serve in a different position rather than the one I originally wanted?

Nope.

Go on, Mr. Internship. How appreciative are you that I applied and didn’t get the job?

Nope.

The college experience no doubt has some of the highest peaks in people’s lives, but man, does it have its valleys.  The lowest of the low and darkest of the dark; a place that makes you say those two words, “I quit.”

When any sort of thing is started, even the most dimwitted Warhawks have some sort of good intention.  It may be a promise or an understanding, but regardless of the situation, you want it to turn out well.

I mean, unless you have an incredibly specific intent, average college students do not take on a responsibility with the endgame to stand up, throw up their arms and say, “Nope.”

So it begs the question.

What happens from those good intentions to that moment where you cede defeat, and look your professors, co-workers, friends and classmates in the eye; and say those two dreadful words, “I quit.”

I think it starts by not being recognized for your work.  From farmers to CEOs and from COBE students to CA students, a person enjoys being reminded what they do is, in fact, quality and appreciated.  So for those who have not felt that hand on your back: you are an incredibly important piece in so many more people’s lives than you realize, and without your hard work, this world would not be the same.

Next, you have to realize your actions have a ripple effect.  Yeah, so what— you did not get that job or internship or executive board position you really wanted.  Rejection is like eating blazing hot buffalo wings: it hurts immediately. No matter what your friends say they cannot fathom how you feel, not a single soul can make you feel better and even a week later you’re still so damaged that you are constantly reminded of it.

You remind yourself that you are not good enough.

Now, I am not going to say that you must fake being happy and that everything is fine. But, I will say that while you are in a self-loathing coma of despair, the people in your life who depend on you week-in and week-out suffer just as much, if not more.

“It is 100 percent easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them – especially when you were supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief, [quitting] is like heroin,” said one of my favorite comedians, John Mulaney.

Humor aside, he has a point.  Quitting is easy and similar to heroin. As soon as you do it, you feel a rush of happiness and relief.  That coma of rejection appears to be nothing but a small speck in your life’s rear view mirror.

But does quitting really solve it?

Does quitting make you feel better?

Does quitting really fill that new hole of rejection you are pretending to ignore?

The answer is no.  Like heroin, quitting solves nothing.

Find the closest mirror and take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you a kind of person who all those elementary school clichés on posters hanging in above your teacher’s desk warned you about?

Again, the answer is no.

Do not let rejection control your life.  Let it burn the biggest fire inside of you, fueling something even you did not know you had.  Show those who you love that you deserve their appreciation, show those who you hate that you are the exact opposite of what they think you are, and finally, show yourself that you believe wholeheartedly you are a unique, talented individual who does not let anything hold you back.