Question: I just started a new relationship, but my recent ex is making it very difficult for me. I really care about the new girl, but I also don’t want to hurt my ex. How do I balance this situation?

He Said …

Moving on from a long-term relationship is never easy. When doing this, try to do two things: keep your ex happy and keep the new relationship strong.

Balancing these two is very difficult, especially when your ex doesn’t want to break up in the first place.

There is no best way to end a long-term relationship, but you still have to man up and tell her the truth.  Most girls should respect that you’re being honest with them, so start off with telling the truth. If not, the ex could still have false hope that things will work out.

Breaking a girl’s heart is really hard, but it’s something that you have to do sometimes.

In most cases, if you tell them there is another girl, they will leave you alone. However, there are those crazy exes that will stick around and talk to your new girl and sh** will hit the fan. To make sure you won’t have problems in the future with the new girl, you must be completely honest with her as well. Tell her  you have just gotten over a long-term relationship, but have no interest in going back.

Start off your new relationship as you would any other. Do things for the new girl that will show her you are over your ex. Most girls have a hard time believing you are over your ex, and will assume they are a rebound girl.  It’s all about finding a girl who truly believes you, and doing things that show her you are being serious.

She Said …

One important thing to remember is that your ex is your ex for a reason. Things obviously weren’tworking out between you two, so it’s time to see what else is out there. I know things will be different with this new girl, but that’s because this is a completely different relationship. Don’t try to make this new relationship an exact replica of your last one.

As for not wanting to hurt your ex, I think you need to be a little selfish here and do what’s best for you. There’s no reason to keep yourself unhappy, and if you think you can be happy with a new girl then go for it.

Make sure you’re in this new relationship for the right reasons. If you’re in it to get back at your ex or make her jealous, it’s not worth it. If you’re still second-guessing yourself after another couple of weeks, I suggest you break things off with the new girl until you can get your thoughts and feelings straightened out. It’s not fair to the new girl to keep her waiting around to see how things are going to play out.

A note to your ex: I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but it’s time to move on. Enjoy the single life for a while and you never know what might come your way. Clinging to him will only keep you feeling miserable inside and make him want even more space from you. He was able to move on, so you should be able to do the same.