Dec. 10, 2014

By Jordan Gittens

For the first time in forever your entire family is in the same house, and it’s either heaven or hell.

Everyone has been consuming copious amounts of eggnog, whiskey and – for the little ones – a whole lot of candy. Then the time for the big family picture comes and it appears every outfit in the house is clashing. This is because only three people live in your actual house and there are 80 different family members from all over the country.

This is why we plan the outfits for everyone ahead of time.

Obviously you would like to stay in the holiday spirit; family pictures are not the time for sequins. The sparkle can be far too overpowering and the picture will look tacky. Instead you will want to go with darker colors; not too dark so your entire family looks like a bunch of emo middle schoolers. Colors like maroon, aurora red and sangria work perfectly.

You may also want to use gold to add a pop of color. Black can be used to make things more subtle.

You don’t want everyone to be wearing the same colors because then it’s boring.

For example, you may want to wear a maroon sweater and cognac brown slim fit pants. Pair these with a pair of brown shoes and you can utilize this look for more than one occasion.

Another family member can pair a black dress with a gold sash and gold necklace; worn with black heels this look is more sophisticated but doesn’t draw away from anyone else in the photo.

Try to bring your dad away from the typical ‘dad’ jeans and sweater. Instead try a sangria argyle sweater paired with a black button down and black jeans. The entire outfit is slimming and will complement everyone else in the photo.

Obviously, each family has a few members who are so fashion challenged they think Christmas sweaters that have reindeer heads protruding from them are a good idea, so they wear that. There is an extremely simple way to combat this heinous idea.

Remember Rachel Berry from Glee, played by the magnificent Lea Michele?

You may want to follow her lead, simply get that family member a solid colored sweater with the outline of a carousel creature or reindeer; this allows that family member to show their holiday cheer without being tacky.

Of course you have the newest members of the family; and they literally can’t tell you how much they hate the outfit you’re putting them in. It’s the perfect time to put them in the most embarrassing costume you can and use it in 25 years in their wedding slideshow. Anything to do with reindeer and elves is a good idea, and who doesn’t love babies in cute costumes? They will steal the show, and that’s OK, because they are so freaking adorable!

If your family doesn’t think this advice is festive enough try throwing in one or two Santa hats, a little mistletoe above the couples and have yourself a happy holiday.