Ask Alyssa: How to handle long distance love

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Feb. 4, 2015

By Alyssa Kirchen

Q: How do I deal with a long distance relationship while in college?

A: Long distance relationships are hard in any circumstance. Whether you are a few hours away or across the country, you have to work really hard at maintaining a connection.

I was in a long distance relationship with my current boyfriend for three years and now we are a couple of six years strong. We started dating junior year of high school and didn’t really think much about our future together. Once we applied to go to college, we had no idea where we would end up or how difficult it would be being apart.

We made it through the journey of being in a long distance relationship by working together. It wasn’t easy at all, but if you follow these tips, you’ll be on the right track to a long-lasting, healthy and happy relationship.

Communication, communication, communication 

The best way to keep a relationship alive is by communicating.

When you can’t talk face to face with your significant other, you need to compensate and communicate through other mediums. Having light conversation over texting throughout the day will help maintain the relationship. Tell your partner a funny joke, or share a new song you heard on Pandora. When you both have some down time, give your partner a call or try to Skype. Talk about how your day is going and share more high points than lows to keep the conversation upbeat. When you inject too much negativity into everyday conversations, you eventually push your partner away.

Plan ahead

 There will be long periods of time when you aren’t able to be there physically with your partner, so there needs to be some planning involved in order to see them face to face. Take a look at your calendar each month and set up actual dates and times when it is convenient to visit one another. If you can’t commit to at least one to two visits a month, this will result in conflict and may end the relationship. During the time you spend together, try to go on a date. Simple ideas such as catching a movie, attending a SEAL event, or going to a restaurant downtown can make a difference. Creating a memorable day together will keep the relationship alive.

Don’t lose your temper

Being away is difficult enough, so if you’re constantly fighting it makes the relationship that much harder.

Don’t get angry if your partner doesn’t text you back within 30 minutes or get jealous with your partner if they are enjoying time with their friends. There is no reason to make yourself miserable every day because you miss each other, so fill your time with other enjoyable things. Join a club, go to a sporting event or do something you love in order to keep your mind occupied. The little things that make your blood boil aren’t really worth fighting about in the long run when you have limited time together. Let things roll off your shoulders and keep the arguments to a bare minimum.

These are three basic, but helpful, tips that will help your long distance relationship. It will get tough at times, but working through these tips with your partner will make it that much easier.

 

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