Dec. 8, 2015

This semester has been like an 18-wheeler continuously running over my puppy right in front of my face while I am tied to a tree with my hands behind my back. That’s putting it nicely. This semester has tested my will and my beliefs, and it continues to test me.

The recent loss of my significant other of four years has ripped me in half. Tyler passed away on Nov. 19 as a result of injuries sustained in a motorcycle-vehicle accident that happened on Nov. 3. That day, a piece of myself died too. I had to say goodbye to the man I loved, our future, but not our love or our memories.

Each day, I feel sick—physically, in my head and in my heart.

Green is the color of my stomach churning. Green is the color of the sickness I felt. Green is decay, toxic, sickness. Green is the color of mold. Green is the color that I think of when I think of all things gross. Green is the color of jealous and envy. Green is bad.

Green is also the color of vegetables, delicious, crunchy salads. Green is the color of nature, growing grass, leaves, the open water on Lake Michigan. Green was the color of my best friend’s hair. Green is the color of my bank account being in the positive. Green is the color of the Packers. Green is the color of the flag at the start of a race. Green is good.

To get to my point, when things are bad, they are really bad, but there is always a reciprocal to the bad. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. Where there is bad, there is good, and where there is good, there may be bad.

Sometimes things don’t go the way you planned in life, and sometimes they do. Life is just unpredictable. Lately, I find myself telling people “Life is too short.” While I know it to be cliché and overstated, I now know it to be so very true.

Going forward with my own life, I promise to myself that I will look for the good beside the bad. I will look to the positives and continue on without the negative. You can’t control life, and you can’t control the things it throws at you, but you can control how you react.

Take each day as it comes, but be ready to put each day behind you as you go on to the next. Remember the happy, embrace the sad, and know that each day brings new things—good and bad.

Someone once said, “Whatever Chance shall bring, we will bear with equanimity.” Roll with the punches, but throw a few punches back.