That’s what (S)HE said…

HE SAID… (Commentary by Andrew Smith)

First off, it is inevitable that you will see you ex on campus, at some point or another.  What you do next is nothing more than a personal choice and, personally, I would make an effort to communicate, because one has to remember that that person is still a human being.

Pretending that they don’t exist doesn’t make them disappear.  Though even the slightest contact may bring one of you pain, it’s much better than refusing to recognize that you two, together, shared, at least, part of your life and that some of it was good.

Remembering the good parts of your relationship can help make it easier to handle each other’s presence.  It may not be such a bad idea to discuss how things were left as well.  This can bring closure to one or both parties, and if you have even the slightest amount of respect for your ex then you should offer that to them.

But remember that they are your ex, and if you find yourself becoming re-attracted to them, recall what happened to make it that way. Even if it hurts, because in the long run you and the other person will have both grown from this relationship.  Which will hopefully strengthen you future relationships.

SHE SAID… (Commentary by Carley Rymkus)

When you have an ex on campus, running into them is probably not high up on the list of situations you want to be in. As awkward as it can be, the circumstance doesn’t have to be something you run away from or freak out about when it happens.

If you run into an ex, there is nothing wrong with stopping and chatting with them for a bit. If it is hard to put on that “happy face” because of unresolved issues, then ask your ex to sit down sometime and talk about it. Sometimes closure is the one thing we need to really push ourselves in the right direction, and you have every right to get that and know why your relationship didn’t work.

The reality of the situation is that every person is not going to be good friends with their exes after they get out of a relationship. Sometimes there are just too many tears, angry feelings and heartbreak to go on as friends.

The best thing you can do is be honest with him or her. If you don’t think you can continue a friendship or acquaintanceship with them, tell them. The key is to not be blatantly rude, because that is when more drama falls into the equation.

Though the situation can be uncomfortable, try and keep your cool and be straightforward about your plans for a future friendship. If you can move on, go for it. But if it is too difficult to reopen the wounds from the past, let them know. If you try your best to be pleasant and calm, you should be able to walk away from the situation feeling good.