My girlfriend swears that nothing is going on between her and her best guy-friend, and I can’t help but feel jealous at their sometimes flirty relationship. Every time I bring it up we end up fighting. How do I handle the situation?

Jealousy can be one of the most destructive elements in a romantic relationship, and sadly, many people go through this phase at one point or another.

The first step to take is to really analyze your girlfriend’s relationship with her friend. It is unrealistic and unfair to expect that your girlfriend will never have any male friends, but you should expect that she remains faithful to you in her friendships.

If their friendship is more personal jokes and reminiscing on past stories, I think it is safe to say that they are just good friends. If she has known her friend a while, then they really might just be friends. Don’t buy into that whole “a man and a woman can never be ‘just friends’” junk because I really don’t believe that is true.

If their friendship is more touchy-feely and she is sneaking around to hang out with him, that’s when you start running into problems. As a part of this relationship, you have every right to talk to her about it.

The simplest solution is to be honest with her. Don’t lead her to believe that you want her to end her friendship with her friend, because that is where things get ugly and the fights flare up. Simply say that you are not comfortable with them being so touchy-feely with each other.

If she really cares about you, she should be able to see your point-of-view and come to a compromise. Tell her what you expect out of your relationship and what she can expect from you as well.

If she flips out on you or just continues to be flirty with her friend, then it might just be smartest to leave her. You don’t want to come to a point where you get cheated on or continue feeling betrayed.

This entire problem comes down to one concept: trust. If you can’t trust your partner, then why are you with them? You deserve someone who you know will be faithful to you and will not make you feel uncomfortable.

Dealing with the “green-eyed monster” is never easy, but if you can communicate and trust each other then I’m sure these problems will dissolve quickly.