That’s what (S)HE said…


[typography font=”Cantarell” size=”27″ size_format=”px”]Do you like Valentine’s Day?[/typography]

Feb. 11, 2015

By Ashley McCallum

Let me start by saying I have every reason to hate Valentine’s Day. I have been single for a large majority of my 19 years, and I recently got kicked to the curb by a love interest. I should be bitter at the sight of all the heart-shaped candies and heavily armed naked babies flying around, but I’m not. I actually really enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Ashley McCallum

Last year, I was asked to be someone’s valentine via Snapchat and it made my day (he dumped me two  weeks later, but that is beside the point). This holiday should not be all about wooing your crush with  an expensive dinner and an unreasonably sized teddy bear; it is about appreciation and having a  common day where everyone can enjoy the thoughts that count together.

Valentine’s Day opponents argue that you should show your affection to your loved ones every day and  you don’t need the tyrannical money-sucking evil that is the Hallmark Company telling you when to  love your significant other. This argument is valid, but I don’t understand how nobody seems to have a problem going on a picnic with their moms on Mother’s Day or only planting trees on Arbor Day. Shouldn’t we love our moms every day too? The idea that Valentine’s Day is a “made-up holiday” is nothing new or unique to that holiday. The only reason it receives so much heat is because people are bitter, plain and simple.

Another concept I cannot wrap my head around is why people are possibly upset by a day where people practically throw candy at you from sunrise to sunset. Sugar is my kryptonite. I love candy, baked goods and any other confectionaries I can get my paws on, and the fact that the sidewalks are practically paved in sugar on Feb. 14 is another reason I enjoy the holiday. Everywhere you go, people are passing out suckers or leaving a tray of sugar hearts on their desk for people to grab.

The joys of Valentine’s Day continue past the 14th because you can buy candy for virtually no cost at all the next day. One year, I bought an economy size box of Fun Dip that lasted months, for less than a dollar. I was on a permanent sugar high for a majority of my junior year of high school because of it.

I understand that watching other people’s happiness can be difficult when you’re lonely, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit around and sulk. Valentine’s Day can be a lot of fun even if you’re single; you just have to have the right mindset. Go to Rocky’s and order a heart-shaped pizza, eat your weight in assorted chocolates and remind yourself why the best valentine is the person who you should love the most, and that is yourself.

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By Jake Prinsen

I was moseying around Walgreens the other day when I saw it. That repulsive sea of red and pink, the Hallmark cards, the flowers, giant teddy bears and chocolates. They stood before me in those aisles, daunting – mocking me with their pseudo-emotional ties to love and affection.

Just before I resorted to a thumb-sucking, rocking-back-and-forth fetal position of introspective loneliness I remembered, “Hey, wait a second…Walgreens has a beer section.” So I bought a case of beer, left that sea of putrid pink and red and I moseyed right back out.

This isn’t to say that I’m suppressing my loneliness with alcohol either, I’m actually just addressing my lack of a valentine with domestic brews – there’s a big difference there.

But that’s the thing about Valentine’s Day, we build it up too much. Haters hate it, but the lovers love it.

Jake Prinsen Back in the day (or back in the glorious 90s I should say), Valentine’s Day was the bomb. Remember  picking out V-Day cards and candy with Mom? Personally, I always went with the Scooby-Doo cards  and Snickers combo. Then in class, everyone got valentines and undoubtedly massive amounts of  candy.

Like most good things, the holiday changed when we grew up. Valentine’s Day is no longer equated with  Scooby-Doo cards or stupid amounts of sugar. Instead it’s all about a superficial expression of love or  lack thereof.

Buy the card, get the flowers and the chocolates. Buy dinner, watch a movie, have mediocre sex and call it a night. Sounds like an enjoyable evening, I just don’t see why we have to have a holiday for that.

Sweethearts candies are terrible, coconut-filled chocolates are abhorrent and flowers wither and die just like your first relationship did when you were 16.

So we come back to the question, is Valentine’s Day really that bad? Well inherently no, not by itself. But is it a stupid, commercialized and unoriginal holiday? Undoubtedly, yes.

Actually, here’s my attempt at Valentine’s Day mediation. Valentine’s Day is A-OK with me, just don’t post about yours on social media. Everybody wins.

I shouldn’t be quite so grumpy about love and sweethearts…but then again, maybe I should. Buying Boo some flowers is a grand gesture in itself, but on Valentine’s Day? How much more cliché could you be? Buy her a frickin’ puppy or something. That’s original, not to mention she’ll probably like the dog more than you.

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