Oct. 13, 2015

Hey you, reading this. You are killing it. You smell nice, your clothes fit great and your hair is doing that thing you like. Okay, so I really have no idea if any of these things apply to you, but if I said it to you in passing, would you believe me? I, for one, know that sometimes when I pitch a compliment, I get a rebuttal thrown back at me before I even hear a thank you. You know those people, and you might be one of those people; I know I can be sometimes. When we receive compliments, we do one of two things: we either handle it with a short thank you and move on, or we automatically verbalize that we disagree with them, but agreeing with them is completely out of the question.

Now, think about this for a moment: you spent a lot of time on your hair today, and you’re pretty proud of it. Sure, it’s not like you should be expecting a call requesting a feature of some slow motion hair flips in a Pantene shampoo commercial anytime soon, but hey, as far as good hair days go, you’re having an above-average one. Then you walk out the door and on your way to class, you run into a friend who stops to talk and mentions that your hair looks good today. Instead of admitting that you are actually quite proud of your hair, you quickly spit back, “Yeah what can I say, I was going for the ‘fresh out of the electric chair’ look today.” Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but the point is your response is going to be far from agreeing with them. Maybe you’ll have a neutral response, and simply say thank you, but it’s not too likely that you are going to agree with the compliment.

What this all boils down to is the tendency to not display any confidence in yourself in fear of being labeled cocky. This is a mindset that holds backpeople from feeling comfortable in their own skin.

People often feed this concept by branding people as vain when they see people post pictures of themselves on social media, or when they verbalize they like the way they look. This is an unfortunate idea, powered by spite and jealously of one’s ability to feel comfortable with themselves. A decline in the amount of people struggling with self acceptance, body image, or overall love for one’s self starts with the end of people branding confidence as blasphemy.

The fact that we feel inclined to not display confidence comes down to more than just “being humble.” In fact, one’s inability to accept a compliment is often correlated with insecurities. Similarly, what some might see as a vain post of themselves on Instagram could actually be a form of seeking validation from others due to their inability to grant it to themselves. Or perhaps the post has nothing to do with their insecurities and instead they are celebrating that they feel good about themselves and are feeling confident in their skin. In both cases, you can bet your bottom dollar, your elbow coin, your top nickel and foot cash that I am going to throw a like on that one, a double like if that was possible, and I’m probably also going to comment an unnecessary (but actually pretty necessary) amount of emojis just to make sure I get the point across.

We as a society have to do whatever it takes to let that person know we are proud of their journey to confidence. Whether that journey is completed or is still being trekked through, you will never find me discouraging you on your way to finding acceptance in your self.

So lets talk about how good you look today because girl, you’re killing it, and don’t keep that selfie collecting dust on your camera roll because that filter is flawless, and you know you’re feeling like you are, too.