Founded 1901

Royal Purple

Founded 1901

Royal Purple

Founded 1901

Royal Purple

Graduate goodbyes: Special shout out to the RP couch

May 4, 2016

So, my time here at the ol’ UW-Whitewater is at its end, and I was told to write something about it. I wish that I had something to say, but, as usual, I have nothing to give. Sentimentality is not something I’m good at, unless it involves something really, really fluffy and cute.

Column by  Mary Davisson Assistant Arts & Rec. Editor
Column by
Mary Davisson
Assistant Arts & Rec. Editor

Getting specific could be dangerous, but I suppose graduating offers me a certain amount of immunity. So, here goes:

Vesna: Why are you always nice? Seriously, even when you cuss it seems sweet.

Kim “Lady Liberty” Wethal: Stay awesome. Seriously, I’m going to need to borrow money from somebody.

Ashley: We had an art class together one semester and then you became my boss. I forever worry that maybe I said something mean during a critique and you’re just waiting for an opportunity to tear me down.

Aleda: What’s it like being so blonde? I don’t mean that in any condescending way, but seriously.

Amber: You and Vesna should have a ‘nice-off’ but you may win due to porcupine reasons.

Brad: They also call you Chad and no one will tell me why.

Justin: If it weren’t for that taco pie you would never have been mentioned here. Also, taco pie rules!

Jake: We talked like a handful of times, so there’s that.

Josh: Where did you go? You’ve been missing this whole semester and I can’t figure out why.

Couch: Oh, how I had to save you for last, my beautiful beloved piece of furniture. I know that you are put up on cinderblocks and that supposedly children have been made upon your well-loved cushions. I heard those rumors, yet I am one of the few who knows your true value. You, and you alone made this last year bearable. Oh, my beloved nap spot, stay true to yourself and don’t let anything distract you. Stay gangsta.

So there’s that. If I didn’t mention anyone I advise you to take deep personal offense to it. I want you to feel that pain. I want you to own it. It’ll build character or something.

If there’s going to be one sappy thing I have to say it’ll have to be that overall I’ve actually enjoyed my time here. I mean that on every level.

10/10 Would attend again.

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Founded 1901
Graduate goodbyes: Special shout out to the RP couch