“Is it Facebook official yet?”

Most new couples are often asked this pressing question, as if the answer validates the relationship.

Some couples feel the pressure of social media scrutiny, which can ultimately lead to a failed relationship, all because we now find importance in making relationship statuses known to social networks. While it’s nice for singles to know who’s on the market or not, couples can often find it daunting to uphold both a personal and online relationship.

With the advent of the smart phone, access to social media apps and websites is rarely more than a few inches away. We rely on Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and other forms of social media to stay in touch with friends and stay informed.

But hand-in-hand with the convenience of new technology are the problems it brings with it. It’s easy to allow social media to rule a relationship.

In many relationships where trust issues or other problems already exist, social media can wreak havoc. Even in healthy relationships, one wrong Facebook post or a misconstrued comment can cause problems.

Before social media became so intertwined with everyday life, trust was a different concept. A couple with a trusting relationship generally wouldn’t have a problem not being in contact with each other for a period of time. Now, with social media and the convenience of text messaging, there aren’t many excuses for a person to not stay in complete contact with his or her significant other.

Social media has created more ways for people in relationships not to trust each other. Boyfriends and girlfriends now frequently worry their significant other is flirting with someone else over the internet, or they feel the need to check up on their partner’s social media accounts to make sure they really were where they said they’d be.

Many individuals will give their password information to their significant other, making it especially easy for suspicious boyfriends and girlfriends to log on as their partners and read through past private messages, comments and posts.

Couples fight openly through posts on each others Facebook walls, either not knowing or not caring that everyone they know can read their seemingly private conversation.

In a world where people don’t see something as real until it is “Facebook official,” some couples feel pressured to take relationships to new levels simply for the sake of recording it on social media for everyone to see. Because of this, we are frequently updated on whether the people in our lives are “single,” “in a relationship,” or a complicated, in-between place.

There are many ways for people to prevent social media from ruling (or ruining) their love lives.

At the beginning of a new relationship, couples should discuss what they expect from each other. Will there be an expectation for passwords to be traded? Does either member of the relationship feel entitled to explore their partner’s profile? What does each person see as a deal-breaker when it comes to talking to (or flirting with) other people?

Likewise, if one member of a couple suspects the other of misbehaving, they should discuss it in person. Trust issues will only grow if they are left untended to, and delving into a partner’s private social media page can cause more issues than simply asking them outright.

It is also wise to keep in mind that it is no one else’s business what a particular person’s relationship status is. There is no obligation to constantly change it with every fight or shift in a relationship. In fact, there is no requirement to display it at all.

Finally, couples should remember that any angry posts they write to each other can typically be seen by all of their friends. If there is something big to fight about, be mature and fight about it in person and in private.

Because so much of life takes place online, it can be tempting to use social media as a tool for sharing every detail about personal relationships or for investigating in situations where trust may not be present.

Instead of allowing social media to rule relationships, couples can usually solve their problems by simply talking things through in person, not in a wall post.

The result will almost always lead to a more solid, mature and trusting relationship.