He

Oct. 25, 2015

How can I put this without being labeled a misogynist?

If you’re dressed as a Disney Princess but look a little more like an exotic dancer, chances are I’m going to notice. Short skirts and low-cut tops are like magnets for most male eyeballs (we’re not always the most perceptive gender, but in this instance I can assure you we are).

In other words, I may not be able to remember a three-month anniversary, but I will remember if you were a sexy nurse last year or a sexy French maid the year before. That’s just the way it is.

Not that there’s anything wrong with sexy maids, nurses, princesses or superheroes – there certainly isn’t, and if a racy costume makes you feel sexy and empowered, then go ahead and rock that sexy costume. Keep in mind, however, that young men, plus alcohol, plus scantily clad women can sometimes lead to lewd comments and inappropriate behavior.

And there’s no excuse for that – young men are certainly capable of and responsible for controlling themselves (control yourselves, gentlemen), but alcohol never helps these things, and as you ladies know, unwanted attention is always prevalent at the bars, even when fully clothed.

To simplify my stance on the sexy costume, I think the women on campus are all capable of drawing lines between objectification and empowerment for themselves. I think opinions on sexy costumes are subjective, and what some women feel is okay to wear (or what not to wear for that matter) is incredibly different.

What’s not okay, however, is to have young girls (under 18) sporting the sexy costumes. Look, I have a 16-year-old sister, so I’m being a little biased here, but if she were to go out wearing some of the Cinderella costumes I’ve seen in my day, I’d be liable to beat up every guy in her class in anticipation of where their eyes would wander.

There you have it people. To the women of campus – it’s on you to decide what’s sexy and what’s sexist. As an adult, you’re in charge of what you wear this Halloween.

One last thing about “sexy” costumes, and this is for the dudes on campus (I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but I got harassed by a guy in a Power Rangers costume at a party last weekend): if you decide to don spandex this weekend, please, please wear athletic shorts underneath. No one wants to see you doing calisthenics sans underwear.

She

Oct. 25, 2015

Let’s be completely frank. I am fairly sure if a nurse ever showed up to work wearing one of the nursing outfits that girls wear on Halloween, there would be

some major health and safety violations, and most likely a lawsuit.

Dressing up for Halloween is by far the most fun part about my favorite holiday, but there is a fine line between what is fun and flirty, and absolutely ridiculous.

Some costumes look so provocative that I am pretty sure the person wearing it had to show ID before entering the store they bought it in. Although I am totally down for people being comfortable and confident in their bodies, some of these “costumes” are ludicrous. Lingerie has its place, but that place is not at the bars or in the basement of some friend-of-a-friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s basement.

If I were to pass on any wisdom to future generations, it would be that putting on some kind of animal ear and underwear is not a Halloween costume, it is the formula for getting a nasty cold on Sunday morning. Seriously, October in Wisconsin is known to sometimes have snow. We already have the mumps spreading like wildfire around here; we do not need to see a spike in frostbite-related injuries as well.

Overly sexualized costumes leave no room for creativity. I cannot tell you how many Minnie Mouses in booty shorts I have seen in this town. Seriously, Minnie Mouse is a classy lady, I do not get why people are turning her token polka-dot dress into a polka-dot G-string with ears.

Also, for the love of all that is good, can we please all agree to stop wearing tu-tus with everything and calling it a costume? Wearing a Batman bra with a yellow tu-tu does not make you Batman. Losing your parents and inheriting their fortune and being trained by the League of Assassins, however, will make you Batman. Please know your origin stories.

I understand that costume choosing can become a last minute thing, but that does not mean that you should slap the word “sexy” in front of a character name or household item and call it a night. If you have fun coming up with a clever costume idea, you will undoubtedly have a conversation-starter for the entire night and you don’t have to worry about the inevitable drunken nip-slip or open fly. If your minimal clothing ends up falling off in the bar or on Main Street, you’re going to end up having an interesting conversation with a cop, and I’m not talking about the sexy cop who was checking you out when you walked in.

And this conversation is not just for the ladies. Men fall into the sexy Halloween costume cliché all the time, and it is just as painful to watch. If I had my friends give me a dime for every shirtless fireman that I will inevitably see this Halloween, I will be able to save the entire UW-System from Scott Walker’s budget cuts. Fellas, I will spare you the pain and tell you now. When ladies see the sexy fireman costume, sirens go off in our head that scream “TOOL” and I guarantee you it is not the kind of tool you are hoping we’re thinking about.

Lucky for us Warhawks, if you cannot find a Halloween costume this year that won’t get you arrested if you stand too close to an elementary school, Halloween is the same day as Homecoming so when in doubt, deck yourself out in Warhawk gear and paint your face purple. If you’re really feeling adventurous, you can dress up as Willie Warhawk and knock out two birds with one stone. But I beg of you, please do not dress up as sexy Willie Warhawk. Willie does not deserve that.