He Said/She Said: Lately my boyfriend’s been acting strange, so when he left his room the other night, I looked at his cell phone. There were tons of flirty text messages from some girl who I’ve never heard of before. When I confronted my boyfriend, he got mad at me for looking at his cell phone. Now what do I do?

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He Said

Andrew Smith

You think you were justified in searching his phone, but why would you do it? Is it because you are scared?Untrusting? Nervous? Didn’t you get the answer you were looking for?

As a wise man once told me “don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the honest answer to;” basically, if you don’t want to know the answer then don’t ask, so don’t go snooping around in his stuff trying to find evidence to hold against him or some piece of info that you are to scared to confront him about. Snooping is not a good tactic and shows lack of trust in a relationship. It’s an invasion of privacy. In all reality, it just shows insecurity on the girls’ part.

Secondly, this boy ought not have been perusing other ladies while he was involved in a committed relationship with this girl. He has violated the code of committed relations by flirting with this other girl, though flirting isn’t too drastic it begins the base layer. Conversations leading to healthy friendships while flirting can lead to intimate situations, where any boy can fall to temptation.

To me this is just conflict, displays insecurity in the female, as well as discontent on behalf of the male.  Ultimately this relationship was doomed to fail from the moment the man began scandalous conversation and the second the woman began to distrust her companion.  If they were able to discuss this tender material with one another in a truthful, honest, and trusting manner then that would ultimately lead to a stronger, healthier and more stable relationship.

She Said

Kari Imberg

 

Two words: leave him.

From the sounds of it, he’s more concerned about you looking at his phone than the real damage at hand. Jealousy is in every relationship. Ladies get mad at their boyfriends for “checking a girl out” at a bar and men get upset when their girlfriends talk to their guy friends. Jealousy is normal.

However, catching your significant other in lies that involve him flirting with a girl behind your back is a whole different level. If you’re in a relationship, it should be clear that both people want it. Relationship, partnership, dating— call it what you want, but loyalty and trust are what keep it going strong.

It’s a normal instinct to find other people attractive, but its when you start taking action on those thoughts that will get you into trouble.

Alright, so you confronted him about the flirty text messages and he got mad at you? RED FLAG! He obviously tried to switch the blame on to you because you caught him red-handed. Looking at his cell phone may be a violation of trust, but if you had reason to suspect his recent personality changes then most of us probably would have done the same.

Moreover, you found significant evidence that your boyfriend’s trying to get the best of both worlds. You did what you could on your part by confronting him, and since that seemed to only anger him, it’s time for the next step.

Goodbye. Adios. See ya later.

It doesn’t matter how you want to put it, but you need to leave him before he continues to step all over your relationship.